Hotwire, Hope, and Hormones: A Fertility Adventure
With two absolutely wonderful children already swinging from our family tree, I’m happy (and slightly terrified) to report: our fertility adventures aren’t behind us. We’re now trying for baby number three!
Naturally, Sophie’s cycle aligned perfectly with the one week the Gatineau fertility clinic shuts down for Easter. Of course it did. And—because life loves its little plot twists—that’s also when I was planning to go to Montreal for the annual board game math trade and flea market. So what do we do? We pack up the whole crew and turn a fertility trip into a mini family vacation.
Since we’d be waking up in Montreal on Easter Sunday, we asked the Easter Bunny to reschedule his annual chocolate-poop parade for Friday morning. He obliged. Respect.
Lola woke up in our bed—a tale with many chapters for another day—and the second she emerged from our room, she spotted the trail of bunny droppings and just about lost her tiny mind. I'm pretty sure our neighbours back in Ontario heard the shrieking. Sorry, Brenda.
Wesley, sensing that something incredible was happening, jumped in like a loyal sidekick. He was all in—just slower. Much slower. So, naturally, he ended up with way less chocolate. But in true Wes fashion, he was completely unbothered. Dude was grinning like he’d just pulled off a major heist.
After a nutritious breakfast of 80% chocolate, 20% parental guilt, we forced them to pretend to eat something that once grew in the ground. Then we started the countdown to Montreal.
Sophie packed our bags with military precision while I…”supervised” from downstairs. The kids climbed me like a tree. Eventually, we got dressed, loaded up Van Diesel, and hit the road—high on sugar and poor decisions.
As anyone with kids knows, “leaving early” is a lie we tell ourselves. We woke up early... and hit the road around 10 a.m. Classic. Lodging wasn’t booked yet, so from a random side street we Hotwire’d ourselves a 4-star downtown hotel that wouldn't bankrupt us. Victory.
Just before hitting Montreal, traffic brought us to a standstill, so we made a pit stop in Vaudreuil for lunch and a bit of kid shopping. Scored a winter outfit for Wesley’s next cold season and hit the road again. We rolled into the Delta Hotel around 4 p.m., and to our delight, the room was gigantic—basically a downtown condo. Win.
We ordered food and, in a burst of optimism, took the kids to the pool. And by we, I mean Sophie took them while I waited for supper to arrive. Once the food was in hand, I regrouped with the crew and we headed back to the room for a BBQ feast.
After our smokehouse delight I hooked up Netflix for Lola while Sophie put Wesley down. That… may have been my first tactical error. Getting Lola to sleep afterward turned into a two-hour saga that fell mostly on Sophie. Lola wanted to sleep with Mom. Of course she did. And because life’s cruel joke wasn't over, we were given two double beds instead of a king. Booo.
We survived the night and were promptly reminded that children don’t understand the concept of “sleeping in.” Luckily, our fertility appointment was at 9:10 a.m., so their early wakeup call sort of worked in our favor. After the ultrasound, I’d head to my board game event while Sophie took the kids to the Biodôme.
We wrangled everyone into the mega stroller—our rolling storage unit packed with kids, snacks, coats, diapers, and about four bags of “just in case”—and hit the metro. Downtown Montreal is many things, but accessible isn’t one of them. Stairs, everywhere. Together, it was manageable. But I worried for Sophie once we split paths.
Near the clinic was a Tim Hortons, so breakfast was secured before heading in. We were early (a first!) and got to see the doctor ahead of schedule. Ultrasound results said insemination would happen Tuesday, meaning we could go home Sunday. Huge relief—Montreal’s charm comes at a price, and we were feeling it.
Back on the metro, we hit yet another stair-only station. Yayyyy. I poured a bunch of goodbye hugs and kisses onto my people and got off at Snowdon to meet my friend. Sophie and the kids continued on.
The board game event? Awesome. In just an hour, I swapped and sold my way through a delightful mess of cardboard, dice, and awkwardly polite nerd negotiations. We loaded our loot into my buddy’s car and headed back up into the pub to try out one of the new games. After an epic loss on my part, we grabbed lunch and checked out a graphic novel shop where I picked up Lola’s first comic—about a girl and her dog.
And since one board game store isn’t enough, we hit another. Because obviously. We even squeezed in a quick museum stop before I returned to the hotel around 5 p.m.
In the lobby, Sophie and the kids were deep in some Easter-themed activities. We ordered dinner again (Montreal = $$$), and once it arrived, we headed up to eat and swap stories. Sophie had a great day and reported zero issues with the kids. Show-off.
Lola got another dose of Netflix while Wesley turned the hotel room into a toddler jungle gym. Determined to avoid a bedtime repeat, we did some solid mental prep with Lola about turning off the TV and going to bed calmly. It sort of worked. Sophie hoped I’d handle bedtime this time around, but once again, Lola only wanted Mom. Sigh.
Still, we all went to bed fairly early, and it did us a world of good—especially the grown-ups. On our last day, we packed up and hit the downtown core for one last stroller-powered adventure. While not always accessible, Montreal is super walkable—construction chaos notwithstanding. We made it all the way to the Old Port, where the kids ran wild in the pedestrian zones, joyfully burning off any energy we had left.
As lunchtime neared, we headed back to the hotel, said goodbye and thank you to a sweet staff member who made Lola feel extra special, and packed everything into Van Diesel.
The plan? Drive out of Montreal, stop for lunch, and let the kids nap on the road to Mamie’s for Easter dinner.
Reality? Wesley passed out immediately. So… that plan got torched before we hit the highway. We pulled over in Hudson for a quick lunch, then hit the road again. Lola fell asleep right away, and Wesley, after resisting like a champ, eventually gave in too.
All in all, a short but memorable family getaway full of laughter, chaos, and tiny emotional landmines. And who knows—maybe the next time we come to Montreal, we’ll be a party of five.
Goodbye, Montreal. Till next time.
