Friends vs Time
One of my closest friends, when it comes to senses of humour no one is more in tune with me then he.
Time is a funny beast not easily tamed. Who am I kidding, it’s impossible to tame despite my sci-fi inclinations. What I find most interesting about time is how depending on the situation it’s influence and impact work for or against us. For instance in times of grief and pain time can be both our undoing or our saviour, just depends how far along you are in the healing process. Time is of course at the heart of our endless struggle against aging despite it being a very natural part of life. Time can also be kind or cruel with friendships depending on what you put into them and of course what you get out them.
You can always let loose with your closest friends.
Life altering friendships are few and far between and sometimes it’s even possible to not have any at all. To clarify I am of course not talking about all our “friends” on facebook since they disappear pretty quickly with their “likes” and “comments” when you ask for help, like moving or painting. The word itself has kind of taken a beating in this digital age as true friends really add up to a handful, if you’re lucky, rather than in the hundreds or thousands. In our infancy we learn to quickly make friends and this is probably for the best since we can’t be too picky about whom we hang out with given our lack of freedom. Quite frankly at this age our interests all align since we all like the same things: toys, games and candy. Think back to your childhood and count up how many friends from that time still remain in your life to this day? If you can say at least one count yourself lucky. Myself I have a total of zilch.
This was one of the first friends I made when we moved to Orleans.
Moving forward into my teens I managed to sow some rather deep bonds with a few fine young men and women. I have learned over the years however that friendships our a lot like plants, they require constant nourishment in order for them to bloom in the long run. This is of course a two-way street however where you bring the water and your friend brings the sunshine, without these two key ingredients the friendship is destined to fail. This of course did not bode well for young Cedric given his genetic makeup. In person I listen more than I talk, if I do a lot of talking then it is most likely to act like a clown. This leads to few people ever really getting to know me. Now I know you might be thinking how is this possible you’re exposing yourself to the world on the web? Truth be told not many people read this blog and if you look at the heart of it all writing is really an individual activity. There is no dialog, there is no emotional connection. There is just the blank screen waiting for electrical inputs which will slowly fill the void.
Surprisingly it’s possible to make friends later on in life.
Despite my hermit like tendencies however I did manage to make a few friends that have lasted to this day, I have however always been neglectful in watering them. My absolute disdain for phones has not helped me nurture my precious few friendships and this is especially important as we get older as we get separated by distance, family obligations and unfortunately work… you know all those natural life obligations. The phone for most becomes a device that allows many to feed and strengthen the bonds they made when they were young into stronger more resilient friendships. For example if I know I’m free and available to do something in an upcoming weekend I will rarely call and make plans, something in my DNA makes this a very difficult process. I never want to be a bother and as we grow up it seems so many other things are likely to supersede friends getting together to hang out.
In my experience time has been a real bitch with my friendships but it’s not entirely to blame for this outcome as I have some responsibility to take in this matter. These friendships are ever so important later on in life especially in any generation past the baby boomers as our friends are most likely our strongest support network, especially if you are an only child.
With time I hope to rekindle and hopefully improve the few friendships I currently have. They know I love them very much but neglect has a way of eating through even the strongest foundations and I fear losing them to times strongest trait, the slow moving second hand. The clock is ticking my “friends”, have you called your nearest and dearest lately for we won’t be here forever, take advantage of the time we have together and water your plants.
Cedric Jean-Marie
